why is almost every trans guy named elliott/eliot/elliot?
written by a trans guy named elliott
The second most frightening thing after coming out as transgender was choosing my name. I say frightening because a name is something that will stick with me for the remainder of my life. I have way too many Libra placements in my astrology chart, which means that I have a hard time making decisions. Choosing a name was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I, often, wonder if I even chose correctly.
One of my requirements in choosing my name was that I wanted to keep my initials. Don’t ask me why. It just felt right. Having a name that began with any other letter than E just didn’t sit well with me. So, that dwindled down my selection of names. Also, I wanted a neutral name. One that wouldn’t call me out as Latine on a resume. I know… stupid as hell. But at the time, I was thinking like my parents. I was thinking about what others would think of my name instead of putting all that aside and considering what I really wanted. Libra placements be damned!
I came up with a short list of names I liked, after searching the mostly dull list of masculine names beginning with the letter E. These were the names I entertained: Enzo, Elliott, Emilio, Enrique, Ethan, Elio.
Although I like the name Enzo, it felt too Italian. I’m Puerto Rico with an already Italian sounding last name and I love pizza. People would get the wrong idea. Emilio was the name of one of my uncle’s friends. I didn’t want a name of anyone that I already knew. Ethan was a strong contender, but then a friend of mine who transitioned around the same time chose that name. I liked Enrique, but shuddered at the thought of people calling my Ricky. There’s nothing wrong with the name Ricky, but I didn’t see myself as a Ricky at the time. Nowadays, I can see myself as a Ricky.
So, I was left with 2 choices: Elio and Elliott. I liked the name Elio because it meant “the sun.” I saw this transition as a new me, my time to shine. And Elliott, well… that was the name of the kid from the movie E.T.
My wife wasn’t a fan of the name Elio. At the time, she wasn’t really a fan of me transitioning either. So, to try an appease her, I went with Elliott, the only name from my choices that she liked. Plus, I could see myself as an Elliott. And, it was a safe name. A part of me wasn’t too thrilled with the name. I was hoping for the sun ray from the heavens shining down on me once I decided on a name. This was my chance to make a statement, to choose the new me. But, I went with Elliott, the safe name. So did so many other trans masc people. I just didn’t know it at the time.
Once I immersed myself around other trans people, specifically trans masculine people, I began to notice that Elliott wasn’t as unique of a name within the trans community. In fact, it was a common trans masc name. I’m not exactly sure the science behind why it’s so common . Maybe they previously had names that began with E and, like me, wanted to keep their initials. Or, maybe they really loved E.T.
However, I like to think of myself as a different Elliott. For one, I’m a Latine person named Elliott. How many other Latines do you know with a Jewish name that isn’t Jewish? My stepmom has a hard time pronouncing it and an essentially calls me Elio. So, that’s a plus. Also, mine is spelled with two L’s and two T’s. Almost every person I’ve come across that has my name spells it with one T. The downfall is that everyone misspells my name, even in emails when my email address has my name in it.
I sometimes wish I was brave enough to have chosen a unique or cooler sounding name at the time. Instead, I was playing it safe. But, at the end of the day, Elliott suits me. Or, if you speak Spanish and can’t pronounce it, Elio suits me, too.
Transitioning is a life changing event. I was just trying to fit in while, also, finally being my true self. Talk about a contradiction! Again, I blame my Libra placements.
